July 6, in the morning
My angel, my all, my very self -
Only a few words today and at that with pencil (with yours) - Not till tomorrow will my lodgings be definitely determined upon - what a useless waste of time-
Why this deep sorrow when necessity speaks - can our love endure except through sacrifices, through not demanding everything from one another; can you change the fact that you are not wholly mine, I not wholly thine-
Oh God, look out into the beauties of nature and comfort your heart with that which must be-
Love demands everything and that very justly - thus it is to me with you, and to you with me.
But you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I-
My journey was a fearful one; I did not reach here until 4 o’clock yesterday morning. Lacking horses the post-coach chose another route, but what an awful one; at the stage before the last I was warned not to travel at night; I was made fearful of a forest, but that only made me the more eager - and I was wrong.
The coach must needs break down on the wretched road, a bottomless mud road.
Without such postilions as I had with me I should have remained stuck in the road.
Esterhazy, traveling the usual road here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four - Yet I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully overcome difficulties-
Now a quick change to things internal from things external.
We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life-
If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of these.
My heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all-
Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours.
The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be-
Your faithful Ludwig
- Beethoven, to his “Immortal Beloved”
If you know anyone looking for housing in Boulder this summer, direct them to me. I’ve decided that moving to Denver in the fall just isn’t soon enough.